Okay, even if you are a fan of the President, this is funny.

Little Brown will be publishing a new children's book, "Goodnight, Bush." It's a parody of the tired classic "Goodnight, Moon" and includes lines like:

And a quiet Dick Cheney whispering hush.

Complete with said Vice President sitting in the Old Lady's rocking chair, holding a shotgun.

What will people dream up next?

So everyone keeps asking what I'm reading.

And since I've been slacking, I thought I'd ask my friend, Allison Winn Scotch what she looks for in a book and for some recommendations for me (and y'all, too!).

Allison is the author of The Department of Lost and Found (out now in paperback!) and the about-to-be-released Time of My Life (Random House, October 2008). She also frequently writes for magazines like American Baby, Self, Shape and Women's Health. I read and loved The Department of Lost and Found and can't wait for her new book.

NEE: What makes for a good book?

Allison: Well, my criteria is fairly obvious: I want something that is intellectually engaging, sharply written but still highly readable. I put down A LOT of books because I find the writing too simplistic or the action too slow. Which isn’t to say that there isn’t a market out there for those easier reads or those more literary reads – there is, but I’m just not part of that market. I really enjoy writers who can move their plots along quickly (I’m a mother to two young kids, so it’s not as if I have hours and hours to linger over a book), but still find a way to make their prose lyrical.

NEE: What are you reading now?

Allison: I just finished the Ten-Year Nap, which explored some fascinating issues – the staleness of marriage, the ambivalence of motherhood, the difficulties of working moms – but it was a tad too literary for my tastes. Not that it wasn’t stunningly written, it was – it was just a little bit of a slower read for me, and as I said above, I’m all about quick, quick, quick! If I really love a book, I’ll devour it in three days. Up next for me is my good friend, Laura Dave’s, The Divorce Party. Laura is the author of the fabulous London is the Best City in America, and not only is she one of the warmest, kindest, most generous friends, she’s an amazing writer, so I’m really excited to dig into her new release.

NEE: What do you consider your top 5 books of all time?

Allison: Oh geez! An impossible question. Well, “of all-time” might be a bit of stretch, but here are five books that I hold in very high esteem, in terms of books and authors who have influenced my writing and to whom it would be an honor to be compared.

1) The Dive From Clausen’s Pier by Ann Packer. This book was completely absorbing, haunting and made you wonder how you would react should the book’s situations (in which a young woman’s fiancé is paralyzed) happen to you.

2) My Sister’s Keeper by Jodi Picoult. Picoult is such a prolific writer, but for me, this was her best work that I’ve read. I think I tore through it in less than 24 hours.

3) Good Grief by Lolly Winston. The Department was frequently compared to Good Grief, and I took that as the highest compliment. An engaging, warm, moving story of a woman who lost her husband but who discovers that there is still a lot to be found in the world as she rebuilds her life.

4) Then We Came to The End by Joshua Ferris. Written in the second-person, this book was complete and total genius. A book I never could have written, even on my best day, and as a fan of The Office, I laughed as much as I marveled over Ferris’s writing.

5) Barefoot by Elin Hilderbrand. Another one that I counted down the hours until I could pick it back up. The story of one summer on Nantucket, where three women dealt with breast cancer, lost love, infidelity, new love, pregnancy and infertility. I loved everything about this book.

NEE: How do you come up with the story lines for your books?

Allison: Really, I’m struck with lightening bolts! I’ve tried to write books in the past in which I really didn’t have a strong vision, and no surprise!, the books ended up being meandering pieces of crap! With the Department, I was mourning the loss of someone close to me from cancer, when I literally woke up one day with the idea of this young woman who is diagnosed with cancer and who discovers that the life she’s been living might not have been the one she should have been living all along. The idea for Time of My Life came about after having one of those “what if” chats with my best friend…she was visiting the hometown of an ex-boyfriend, and she called me to say how weirded out she was by it. I, of course, understood exactly what she meant because, like every woman I know, I’ve entertained those “what ifs.” After we hung up, I went for a run, and voila, was struck with the idea of a discontented woman who wakes up one day seven years in the past and has the chance to redo her life, this time, without mistakes. I came home and wrote what are now the first 15 pages. But once I have that initial idea, I really let my characters take me where they want to go. I’m not a writer who outlines everything in advance…I usually know where the characters will end up in the last chapter, but it’s an adventure for all of us getting there!

NEE: Tell us more about your books.

Allison: The Department is about a headstrong, ambitious young woman who is diagnosed with Stage III breast cancer. Before you cringe in horror, I should say that a) the book is very funny!, and b) the cancer is really just a catalyst for her discovering her own path, her own way and really, the life that she should have been living. What I love more than anything is when people tell me that they didn’t see this as a “cancer” book, rather a relatable story about a woman who is coming of age and coming into her own. In doing so, she retraces her past, tracking down the five loves of her life, and tries to assess if she went off-track and if so, how she can claw her way back. Natalie, my protagonist, could be any one of us because certainly, in all of our lives, cancer or not, we’ve had to muddle through the muck and point ourselves upward.

Time of My Life touches on similar themes, I guess. As I mentioned above, it’s about a 35-year old who seemingly has it all: the five-bedroom house, the cherubic toddler, the handsome husband, but who waddles around in her own “what ifs.” After an ethereal massage, she wakes up one day to find herself in her old apartment, with her old boyfriend, with her old job and her old life, and now, with perfect hindsight, she can set about rebuilding a new life and discover if it was the one she should have been living all along. It was SO much fun to write, and geez, I only hope that people realize that it’s fiction and not an autobiography! J I’ve already given my husband a lot of credit for laughing when he heard the plot line and only making a few jokes about whether or not this was my own private fantasy!

An interesting read.

I just finished Judith Warner's book, "Perfect Madness: Motherhood in the Age of Anxiety," and I have to say, a lot of resonated.

I think it's a must-read for some of us Moms who always wonder if we are short changing our child. If anything else, it will make you feel better (and yes, a bit worse, too) to know that you are not alone in that feeling.

So this is how conservatives dress, is it?

Today, a spouse new to the area needed a ride to the PX. Though I really, really wanted to say, "Hell, no! Don't you know it's still Thanksgiving weekend and the place will be packed?!" I obliged.

As I waited for our newest arrival to find some cleaning supplies and diapers, I wandered over to the book section. And wouldn't you know, just in time for Christmas, there was a HUGE display of Ann Coulter's new book, "If Democrats Had Any Brains, They'd Be Republicans." I'm guessing it's due to Coulter's giving nature and forgiving Christian sentiments. Either that, or they just had to find something to take up the extra-large display table that they bought for the last Harry Potter book.

(Note to readers: Yes, that was sarcasm. If I told you what I really thought of Coulter, we'd be here a long time and you'd probably think I had a potty mouth).

Both in curiosity and disgust, I picked up the book and read a couple pages. It looks like more of the same -- pointless, hate-filled drivel.

But one thing struck me. You know, for a conservative, Ann doesn't mind showing us the cleavage. Or her legs. On the cover of every book I've ever seen, she's dressed more like Carmen Electra than Ruth Bader Ginsburg. What is with that?

Not that I like Ann at all but there might be a slightly greater chance that I might listen to her for a second if she only practiced what she preached. Or at least occasionally appeared to do so.

10 Books.

On a social networking site, I was pinged to list my top 10 books. *The* 10 books that I believe everyone should read. Here they are, in no particular order:

Ali and Nino - Kurban Said
The Blind Assassin - Margaret Atwood
The End of Alice - A.M. Homes
Love in the Time of Cholera - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
Where I'm Calling From - Raymond Carver
Anne of Green Gables - L.M. Montgomery
At Play in the Fields of the Lord - Peter Mathiessen
The Accidental Tourist - Anne Tyler
A Fine Balance - Rohan Mistry
A Wrinkle in Time - Madeleine L'Engle

What are your 10?

Don't Knopf it 'til you tried it.

David Oshinsky has a fascinating op-ed in the NY Times about just who, over the years, publishing giant Alfred A. Knopf, Inc. rejected.

It's an impressive list. Makes me feel a little better about the 20 or so agent rejections I've gotten for my first manuscript.

"You're given the form, but you have to write the sonnet yourself. What you say is completely up to you."

Madeleine L'Engle passed away.

Numerous obituaries and news reports have already spoken about how her first book, "A Wrinkle in Time," touched the hearts of millions of children.

Let me add my own heart to the list.

I re-read "A Wrinkle in Time" every year -- and my childhood copy was so tattered that my nephew got me a new one at his book fair a few years ago. And since I am still compelled to open it whenever I see the cover, I fear that the newer copy isn't looking much better at this point. Even now, I so relate to Meg -- stubborn, likes short-cuts, sports hair that never curls evenly on both sides. It saddens me that there won't be more of her in future books.

Godspeed, Ms. L'Engle. Thank you for reminding me that we must hope for everything.

Doing my bit for the procrastination effort.

While I wait on a source to get back to me with some more background information for a story I'm doing, I could have organized my notes, put together quotes from my other sources or gotten to work on my next story. I could have.

I also could have snaked my drains.

Instead, I was the happy recipient of a cardboard box from Barnes and Noble today. A box of books from a gift card that I found in one of the move boxes. Sure, the card probably belonged to my husband. But he didn't use it and if someone isn't willing to help unpack those pesky office boxes, finders keepers, lazy-men-who-leave-all-unpacking-to-their-wives weepers.

So since it was a rainy day, I figured I'd just pick up one of the books and skim the first few pages -- Laura Lippman's "What the Dead Know." It's the story of a decades old abduction of two sisters, Sunny and Heather Bethany, and a woman, caught leaving the scene of a car accident, saying that she is Heather, the younger of the two sisters. But something is not quite right and the story, told both in the year of the abduction and in the present, tries to unravel is she who she says she is?

I was not able to put it down until I turned the last page.

I should probably hide the rest of the book shipment until I finish this story. But if any of the others are as good as this one, I'm going to have a hard time doing so.

Self-help.

Full disclosure: I hate self-help books. I do. I'll admit it. I kind of believe that they are out there on the market just to make us feel bad about ourselves and buy more self-help books.

I have nothing against trying to improve yourself, mind you -- I just don't think Dr. Phil can show you the way to do so in a book written for a general audience.

Salon.com has an interview with Jennifer Niesslein, one of the editors of the brilliant Brain, Child magazine. She's just written a book, "Practically Perfect in Every Way: My Misadventures Through the World of Self-Help and Back." The book is all about her experiment in trying to use self-help books and techniques to improve her life.

In the interview, she admits to having issues with sleepwalking and panic attacks during this time of her life and is asked if the self-help might have influenced these problems. She says this:

"These books say you'll have all this knowledge, you'll be empowered, you'll be the master of your destiny. But the flip side of that is that you become acutely aware of all the burdens that you have, too, and your responsibilities. You're responsible for your financial destiny, and especially according to the folks [I was reading], women are responsible for what's going on in their relationships."

Interesting stuff. I'm definitely putting this one on my list.

I need a good book.

I'm currently reading Elfriede Jelinek's "The Piano Teacher." I'm not loving it. It's a little too complicated for me. I'm sure I would have loved it when I was younger and had the attention span for such literary complication. But with a two-year-old interrupting my reading time for juice, the Mickey Mouse Clubhouse or just plain ol' attention, I just can't get into it.

But I am just the type of person who always has to be reading something. I'm just wired that way.

Anyone have any good recommendations for fiction?

Stop trying to ruin it for the rest of us!

There's really no need for this kind of nonsense, Gabriel.

And please, please let it not be true! Like I didn't cry enough with the loss of Dumbledore. I really don't think I could handle the others.