And now for the snark...

Just remember I'm just getting back into this. But seriously, what happened to old-fashioned hot water bottles? Have people become allergic to rubber? Are hotels worried about frivolous wet-bed lawsuits?

Cold Sheets? Hire a Human Bed Warmer.

This just gives me the serious ick. And not just because I keep imagining these young hotel employees farting under the covers.

Wow.

Do you like Post Secret but feel you just aren't creative enough to pair the right words and visual?

Then you might want to check out One Sentence.

But beware, you may waste a lot of time there. And then, if you are me, struggle to sum up what you want to say in a single sentence.

So wrong and yet so right.

This isn't safe for work. But it is oh-so-funny.



(Notice the source -- TagTele. It just makes me even that more proud to be an American).

A new online addiction.

Earlier this week, a total-blast-from-the-past high school boyfriend (wait -- can you call someone a boyfriend if you only "went together" for like two weeks back in 8th grade and only ever held hands?) invited me to Facebook. Bored and on my third glass of wine, I joined up.

It's going to be a new addiction. I can feel it. Seeing so many people from these past high school and college lives feels like a voyeur's dream. I can see who married who, who had kids, who got fat, and -- even more entertaining -- who has had plastic surgery.

It's amazing what kind of shit people will post on social networking sites these days.

I'm not sure if the allure will last. Once your curiosity is piqued, can someone twittering about getting their nails done really hold the thrill that seeing their pre- and post-nosejob pictures can? Probably not. But it was something nostalgic and silly to do this week when I was ready to run screaming away from my own life.

And that's something, anyway.

Fun timewaster.

Check out Photofunia.

I just put CPT Dick's photos on Angelina Jolie's t-shirt. I think he will appreciate that.

Is there nothing you can't find on the Internet?

Try not to waste time on Manbabies.com. I dare you.

I'm so tempted my make own. Not for the site, mind you, but for the mantle.

At least I still have some sense of headline sensitivity.

I clicked on this CNN headline this morning: Kiss singer sidelined with heart ailment.

With a quick glance, I thought it was about Henry Kissinger. And I worried that the man, who has got to be at least 162 by now, might be ill and possibly dying. But why would a proponent of Realpolitik and suspected secret Iraq advisor to the President merit a headline third down the list? What the hell was I thinking?

After all, whether or not Paul Stanley will be able to paint his face and rock'n'roll all night and party every day is so much more important.

Entering the common lexicon.

Do you recall "Dick in a Box?"

I pasted the video below in case you don't know it. It's hilarious not just because it suggests that men should put their junk in a box and give it to women but it totally makes fun of boy bands.



Although I do like to play this video every now and again just for a laugh, just showing it is not my point.

Today, as I stood in line to inprocess Finance (don't ask...let's just say I better be getting a damn fine present when my husband returns from the field), the two soldiers in front of me were talking.

SOLDIER 1: Man, I got this chick's number the other week. I've called her twice though, dude, and she has not called back.

SOLDIER 2: That sucks, dude.

SOLDIER 1: She was really cool. I'm not sure if I should call again or maybe send her flowers or something.

SOLDIER 2: Flowers?

SOLDIER 1: What? Too much?

SOLDIER 2: Dude, you know what to do.

SOLDIER 1: What?

SOLDIER 1: C'mon, man. You know. Step 1, buy a box. Step 2, put your junk in the box...

And then I couldn't help myself. I joined in with Soldier 2 to sing the chorus of "Dick in a box." I mean, what else could a girl possibly do?

Landover Baptist does it again.

I love satirical news sites like the Onion but the Landover Baptist Church website takes the funny to a whole 'nother level. And not just because a woman I used to work with was beyond convinced that it was a *real* Christian site.

They've had previous posts about Harry Potter, but their latest, "Gay Sex Scene Edited Out of Final Potter Novel" had me in stitches.

Anal sex as common as a handshake in Britain? Brilliant, that.

Need some motivation?

Create your own motivational poster. It's fun!

Of course, the poster shown is one of the classics from Despair.com.

I remember that when I first came upon the Despair site, many moons ago, I wished I could make my own poster -- I had so many good ideas (though none I could imagine fit my life as well as the Meetings one). But now that I have a generator, I'm coming up with nothing. Total blank.

Maybe you'll have more luck with it. Because everyone needs a little (de) motivation now and then.