All I have to say is I am surprised and deeply saddened that Rumsfeld did not make the list. Did he say nothing noteworthy this year?
The complete list from Extreme Mortman:
1) John Kerry: “If you make the most of (education), you study hard, you do your homework, and you make an effort to be smart, you can do well. If you don’t, you get stuck in Iraq.” (Oct. 30)
Of course, with a joke so brilliantly funny and insightful, there were bound to wannabe imitators.
2) A tie: Ted Stevens: “The Internet is not something you just dump something on. It’s not a big truck. It’s a series of tubes.” (June 28)
and
Larry King on the Internet: “I’ve never done it, never gone searching…. The wife loves it. I wouldn’t love it. What do you punch little buttons and things?” (Nov. 14)
3) Joe Biden: “You CANNOT go into a 7-11 or a Dunkin Donuts without an Indian accent.” (July 6)
4) Hugo Chavez describing President Bush: “The devil is right at home. The devil — the devil, himself, is right in the house. And the devil came here yesterday. Yesterday, the devil came here. Right here. Right here. And it smells of sulfur still today.” (Sept. 20)
5) President Bush to legally blind reporter Peter Wallsten “Are you going to ask that question with shades on?” (June 14)
6) Rep. Bob Wexler: “I enjoy cocaine because it’s a fun thing to do.” (July 21)
7) Sen. Jeff Sessions: “I talk to those who’ve lost their lives, and they have that sense of duty and mission.” (Dec. 5)
8) Tony Snow to Helen Thomas: “Thank you for the Hezbollah view.” (July 18)
9) A tie:
George Allen: “I still had a ham sandwich for lunch. And my mother made great pork chops.” (Sept. 19)
and
Los Angeles Times correction: “An article in Section A on Wednesday about friction in the Republican Party between gays and religious conservatives said Sen. George Allen (R-Va.) had a campaign manager who is gay. The Allen staff member who is gay is his communications director.” (Oct. 19)
10) Prince George’s County, MD, County Executive Jack Johnson: “I always fly business class or first class. I think the people of Prince George’s County expect me to. I don’t think they expect me to be riding in a seat with four across and I’m in the middle.” (Nov. 20)
We weren’t sure whether to include a quote by Mayor Ray Nagin; after all, hasn’t New Orleans suffered enough? But then we caught HBO’s Comic Relief special for Katrina relief and reconsidered. Heck, if Robin, Billy, and Whoopi can find humor in a disaster while on stage in Las Vegas, then why can’t we recognize Nagin’s home-grown humor? Here then, a bonus: The Eleventh Funniest Political Quote of 2006.
11) New Orleans Mayor Ray Nagin: “This city will be chocolate at the end of the day.” (Jan. 16)
Thursday, December 14, 2006
Wednesday, December 13, 2006
'These people should be court-martialed.'
I read Salon.com's article on Mikey Weinstein, the founder of the Military Religious Freedom Foundation (MRFF) with great interest today. I am not Jewish, and as I said, we're not all that religious. But both my husband and I were raised Roman Catholic and we have baptized our son in the Catholic faith as well.
Weinstein's style is a little over the top, however, I do agree that evangelical Christians are stepping out of bounds in many ways without any kind of reigning in by their superiors. Since CPT Dick took command, we've had several incidents that have raised my hair. The one that stands out most in my mind was an innocuous little barbecue. Soon after we got here, a supposedly non-denominational Protestant chaplain held a unit-based barbecue. That is, not just this preacher's flock, but all of a particular unit -- Protestant, Catholic, Muslim and Jew -- were also invited to attend. There are many such events that are co-sponsored by chaplains and the MWR (morale, welfare and recreation) folks and when people hear the call for free food, they usually come running.
At this barbecue, religious coloring books were passed out to the children. These coloring books talked scripture and beliefs, which is fine, I suppose, but they did so in an extremely inappropriate way. On one page, the coloring book explained that religions that believed in saints (like the Roman Catholic faith) or any prophets other than those sanctioned (Mormons, Muslims and Jews) were idol worshippers and would therefore not be welcomed into heaven. Unsurprisingly, some parents were outraged and complained. A whole lot more didn't, but that's not a surprise either, I guess.
And what was done? That would be a big, fat nothing. And to add insult to injury, the new Catholic chaplain that recently came to post found a box full of these coloring books in his office with a note stating that he was free to use them for Sunday school activities.
Can you say classy?
So, as I said, I don't like Weinstein's style. And unfortunately, I think that style will kill the MRFF in the end. But I'm glad someone is finally getting up and saying something.
We're a military family that is meant to represent the United States and all of the Americans who live there, with no discrimination based on color, religion or creed. There are some higher-ups that really need to be reminded of that. Let's hope that the MRFF can serve as a wake-up call.
Weinstein's style is a little over the top, however, I do agree that evangelical Christians are stepping out of bounds in many ways without any kind of reigning in by their superiors. Since CPT Dick took command, we've had several incidents that have raised my hair. The one that stands out most in my mind was an innocuous little barbecue. Soon after we got here, a supposedly non-denominational Protestant chaplain held a unit-based barbecue. That is, not just this preacher's flock, but all of a particular unit -- Protestant, Catholic, Muslim and Jew -- were also invited to attend. There are many such events that are co-sponsored by chaplains and the MWR (morale, welfare and recreation) folks and when people hear the call for free food, they usually come running.
At this barbecue, religious coloring books were passed out to the children. These coloring books talked scripture and beliefs, which is fine, I suppose, but they did so in an extremely inappropriate way. On one page, the coloring book explained that religions that believed in saints (like the Roman Catholic faith) or any prophets other than those sanctioned (Mormons, Muslims and Jews) were idol worshippers and would therefore not be welcomed into heaven. Unsurprisingly, some parents were outraged and complained. A whole lot more didn't, but that's not a surprise either, I guess.
And what was done? That would be a big, fat nothing. And to add insult to injury, the new Catholic chaplain that recently came to post found a box full of these coloring books in his office with a note stating that he was free to use them for Sunday school activities.
Can you say classy?
So, as I said, I don't like Weinstein's style. And unfortunately, I think that style will kill the MRFF in the end. But I'm glad someone is finally getting up and saying something.
We're a military family that is meant to represent the United States and all of the Americans who live there, with no discrimination based on color, religion or creed. There are some higher-ups that really need to be reminded of that. Let's hope that the MRFF can serve as a wake-up call.
On family friendly movies.
Last Sunday was a rather rainy, yucky day so we decided to hang out inside and watch movies. We happen to have a large DVD collection and as such, we suffer from a great burden of choice. The actually selecting of which usually starts with one of us saying, "What do you want to watch?"
This is always immediately followed by, "I don't know. What do you want to watch?"
This continues, ad nauseum, until one of us gives in and says, "Whatever you want to watch." Then, ultimately, a few vetoes have to be thrown because once a movie is selected, it's never the one the other is actually in the mood to watch.
But surprisingly, yesterday, the song and dance changed a bit.
"What do you want to watch?" asked CPT Dick.
I was working, and Munchkin would be watching with his Daddy, so I said, "I don't know. Something family-friendly."
"Family friendly?"
"Yes. Family friendly. No boobs. No extraneous violence. Something educational and fun and interesting for the boy to watch, too."
"Like 'Patton'?"
And do you know, he was actually serious.
This is always immediately followed by, "I don't know. What do you want to watch?"
This continues, ad nauseum, until one of us gives in and says, "Whatever you want to watch." Then, ultimately, a few vetoes have to be thrown because once a movie is selected, it's never the one the other is actually in the mood to watch.
But surprisingly, yesterday, the song and dance changed a bit.
"What do you want to watch?" asked CPT Dick.
I was working, and Munchkin would be watching with his Daddy, so I said, "I don't know. Something family-friendly."
"Family friendly?"
"Yes. Family friendly. No boobs. No extraneous violence. Something educational and fun and interesting for the boy to watch, too."
"Like 'Patton'?"
And do you know, he was actually serious.
Balance is a dirty word.
Women's magazines have launched a full-scale assault on today's women. And their ammunition? The ever-elusive and panic-inducing life balance.
All I see are articles promising how to achieve balance in your life. Find balance between home and work. How to balance your time vs. time with your husband. Hell, they even have blurbs about balancing the balance for a better you and a happier family. And here is what I have to say about this concept: fuck balance. (Though, if there were an article about fucking and balance with right kind of illustrations, I might be down).
The only purpose of these articles is to make women feel bad. Make them think if they feel overwhelmed by motherhood, work, marriage and personal goals, then they are simply not doing something right. And nothing is further from the truth. Frankly, to be an adult woman -- and especially a mother -- means that your life will always be in a state of flux. That your priorities will shift not only from day to day, but minute to minute. That at the end of the day, something, perhaps many things, will be left undone. And you know what? That's okay.
When I think of balance, I think of my years as a dancer. I think of myself standing at the barre, poised on the top of my pointe shoe, and taking a deep breath just to get the gumption to start. The seemingly simple adjustment of raising my leg into an arabesque was some of the hardest work I've ever done. My stomach pulled in, my standing leg strong, my mind repeating a breathing mantra -- yes, I could achieve balance. And yes, I could stay that way for quite a while. But the demands on my body would eventually take their toll and I would have to come back down. Sometimes, I would fall and fall hard. It is more than enough stress to stay up like that for a few minutes. It's not something we should be coaching ourselves to continuously do in our daily lives.
Honestly, the balance part is not the key at all. It's that sweet relief in coming down. Letting go and realizing that you don't have to do it all.
So ladies, next time you see a magazine cover advertising some new strategy for achieving balance, walk away from the rack. We don't need it. Instead, let's take some time to recognize how much more applicable the falling down can be.
All I see are articles promising how to achieve balance in your life. Find balance between home and work. How to balance your time vs. time with your husband. Hell, they even have blurbs about balancing the balance for a better you and a happier family. And here is what I have to say about this concept: fuck balance. (Though, if there were an article about fucking and balance with right kind of illustrations, I might be down).
The only purpose of these articles is to make women feel bad. Make them think if they feel overwhelmed by motherhood, work, marriage and personal goals, then they are simply not doing something right. And nothing is further from the truth. Frankly, to be an adult woman -- and especially a mother -- means that your life will always be in a state of flux. That your priorities will shift not only from day to day, but minute to minute. That at the end of the day, something, perhaps many things, will be left undone. And you know what? That's okay.
When I think of balance, I think of my years as a dancer. I think of myself standing at the barre, poised on the top of my pointe shoe, and taking a deep breath just to get the gumption to start. The seemingly simple adjustment of raising my leg into an arabesque was some of the hardest work I've ever done. My stomach pulled in, my standing leg strong, my mind repeating a breathing mantra -- yes, I could achieve balance. And yes, I could stay that way for quite a while. But the demands on my body would eventually take their toll and I would have to come back down. Sometimes, I would fall and fall hard. It is more than enough stress to stay up like that for a few minutes. It's not something we should be coaching ourselves to continuously do in our daily lives.
Honestly, the balance part is not the key at all. It's that sweet relief in coming down. Letting go and realizing that you don't have to do it all.
So ladies, next time you see a magazine cover advertising some new strategy for achieving balance, walk away from the rack. We don't need it. Instead, let's take some time to recognize how much more applicable the falling down can be.
Monday, December 11, 2006
The true impact of Britney Spears.
This past weekend we attended a holiday ball. Thankfully, it was the last formal event for the year. Or at least, it had better be. I'm tired of mandatory fun.
These things start out staid enough but by the end of the evening, the alcohol is flowing and people get a bit out of hand. People dance, throw things, make out, hurl and sometimes throw a punch. That's just the way it is.
But this year, there was a difference in how people got out of hand. Or rather, should I say, an absence.
Panties. Most of the ladies were going commando underneath their dresses. And they weren't afraid to show it.
Now, don't get me wrong. I know that formal attire is usually cut in such a way to make wearing a bra difficult. And of course, if you are going for a clingy look, perhaps you want to avoid visible pantie lines (or VPLs as my friend S. calls them). But please, ladies, if you are going to go without, make sure that your dress stays put!
I think I've seen more va-jay-jay's in the past few weeks than our resident gynecologist. I'm ready for this pop culture phase to be over. Ladies, notice that Britney has written on her webpage that she's thankful for Victoria's Secret new pantie line. Let's follow her lead and not show our coochie-pops unless someone is paying good money for it.
These things start out staid enough but by the end of the evening, the alcohol is flowing and people get a bit out of hand. People dance, throw things, make out, hurl and sometimes throw a punch. That's just the way it is.
But this year, there was a difference in how people got out of hand. Or rather, should I say, an absence.
Panties. Most of the ladies were going commando underneath their dresses. And they weren't afraid to show it.
Now, don't get me wrong. I know that formal attire is usually cut in such a way to make wearing a bra difficult. And of course, if you are going for a clingy look, perhaps you want to avoid visible pantie lines (or VPLs as my friend S. calls them). But please, ladies, if you are going to go without, make sure that your dress stays put!
I think I've seen more va-jay-jay's in the past few weeks than our resident gynecologist. I'm ready for this pop culture phase to be over. Ladies, notice that Britney has written on her webpage that she's thankful for Victoria's Secret new pantie line. Let's follow her lead and not show our coochie-pops unless someone is paying good money for it.
Nothing kills a good buzz...
than your husband upchucking all over you in the back of a taxi.
Nothing, except, having to pay the rather irate cab driver an extra $50 for "cleaning fees."
Nothing, except, having to pay the rather irate cab driver an extra $50 for "cleaning fees."
Saturday, December 09, 2006
The most wonderful time of the year.
Or not.
I had to go to the PX to pick up a couple of things today. It's a Saturday and since I know that the PX is a happening spot on the weekends (why, I don't know, but whatever) I get there right at opening.
Well, I forgot about Christmas.
Holy shit. Between the Christmas carols at full volume (note: country musicians should not be allowed to put out Christmas albums EVER. I am going to make sure it ends up on a ballot at some point), the bright holiday decorations, and every single PX employee opening their mouth into a AAFES-approved smile as they wished me a Merry Christmas, I thought I had died and gone to Stepford.
What's worse is that they didn't have what I needed -- vacuum bags -- but when I asked if there might be any in the back, I was informed that they did have a large and lovely toyland set up in back instead. Well, that's nice and all but it ain't going to get the Cheerios off my floor. Guess Munchkin will just have to keep on eating duty for a few days more.
Remind me not to step foot into the PX until well after the new year. I don't think my nerves can take it.
I had to go to the PX to pick up a couple of things today. It's a Saturday and since I know that the PX is a happening spot on the weekends (why, I don't know, but whatever) I get there right at opening.
Well, I forgot about Christmas.
Holy shit. Between the Christmas carols at full volume (note: country musicians should not be allowed to put out Christmas albums EVER. I am going to make sure it ends up on a ballot at some point), the bright holiday decorations, and every single PX employee opening their mouth into a AAFES-approved smile as they wished me a Merry Christmas, I thought I had died and gone to Stepford.
What's worse is that they didn't have what I needed -- vacuum bags -- but when I asked if there might be any in the back, I was informed that they did have a large and lovely toyland set up in back instead. Well, that's nice and all but it ain't going to get the Cheerios off my floor. Guess Munchkin will just have to keep on eating duty for a few days more.
Remind me not to step foot into the PX until well after the new year. I don't think my nerves can take it.
Wednesday, December 06, 2006
Jonesing for Harry.
I am a Harry Potter fan. There. I said it. I AM A GROWN WOMAN AND I LOVE HARRY POTTER. I'm not ashamed.
I think JK Rowling's tales of the boy wizard are fantastic and I wait impatiently for each book and movie to be released. So impatiently, in fact, that I once made my husband drive me across state lines so I could pick up a copy of "The Order of the Phoenix" one day earlier. Like I said, I'm a fan. Maybe even a slightly kooky one at that.
But this Christmas there is nothing to look forward to. No movie release. No book. Just months and months of anticipation to bear until next summer. I'm not sure how to cope. I've already read and reread each book in the series. I have the movies on DVD and frequently get my Potter fix on. I've gotten on the forums and talked about where I think the story is going and cast my vote on whether Dumbledore is really dead and gone. But these actions are empty. They only remind me of what I won't have in my hand for some time to come. And that's the next book. I am beginning to really worry about what is going to happen to poor Harry. And I have enough to worry about as it is.
It may be time to start sending Ms. Rowling a few emails to remind her to write faster.
I think JK Rowling's tales of the boy wizard are fantastic and I wait impatiently for each book and movie to be released. So impatiently, in fact, that I once made my husband drive me across state lines so I could pick up a copy of "The Order of the Phoenix" one day earlier. Like I said, I'm a fan. Maybe even a slightly kooky one at that.
But this Christmas there is nothing to look forward to. No movie release. No book. Just months and months of anticipation to bear until next summer. I'm not sure how to cope. I've already read and reread each book in the series. I have the movies on DVD and frequently get my Potter fix on. I've gotten on the forums and talked about where I think the story is going and cast my vote on whether Dumbledore is really dead and gone. But these actions are empty. They only remind me of what I won't have in my hand for some time to come. And that's the next book. I am beginning to really worry about what is going to happen to poor Harry. And I have enough to worry about as it is.
It may be time to start sending Ms. Rowling a few emails to remind her to write faster.
Tuesday, December 05, 2006
Please cover the coochie.
The Gallery of the Absurd has an awesome artistic work of Britney Spears, Lindsay Lohan and Paris Hilton called the "Three Disgraces." Absolutely priceless.
Of course, what I can't understand is why these women are so happy to flash the coochie day in and day out. Don't they know that they could get good money for that shit (not to mention "tasteful" artistic shots) if they just sold out to Playboy? Heck, I think Hustler would make them look more innocent than the paparazzi do.
In any case, ladies, if you are reading this, please cover up. I'm a mother now and completely terrified that you might all catch cold.
Of course, what I can't understand is why these women are so happy to flash the coochie day in and day out. Don't they know that they could get good money for that shit (not to mention "tasteful" artistic shots) if they just sold out to Playboy? Heck, I think Hustler would make them look more innocent than the paparazzi do.
In any case, ladies, if you are reading this, please cover up. I'm a mother now and completely terrified that you might all catch cold.
Bush is "not happy" about Bolton's resignation.
Oh well. I, for one, am doing a happy dance. And I'm sure that quite a few others will join me.
And if Gonzales resigns in the next few weeks, I'll even do the Macarena. In public. Naked.
Read about it on CNN.
And if Gonzales resigns in the next few weeks, I'll even do the Macarena. In public. Naked.
Read about it on CNN.
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