Sunday, July 20, 2008

Add this to the "Tell me something I don't know" file

As wars lengthen, toll on military families mounts.

Note that they don't mention anything about FRG volunteers. Or how much the Army is relying on said volunteers. *sigh*


Sarah said...

You know what's interesting...we don't have an FRG. Eh, we have one on paper, but I have never heard anything from them. The leader emails on occasion to say when she'll be out of town, but that's it. No meetings, nothing. I wonder if our leader gets the type of nonsense that you do. Because at our pre-deployment fair, the vibe I got from the command was "Suck it up and get used to it; this ain't regular Army." Which suits me, but I wonder how others are coping. I have never heard a peep from the other wives, and I couldn't pick them out of a lineup. In fact, my husband just told me that his commander had to step down and return home due to health problems and the incoming commander is on emergency leave, and I had no idea any of this was going on. It's weird to not have any info, but I wonder if too much involvement with FRG breeds the issue of wives coming to the FRG with problems. I don't know.

Non-Essential Equipment said...

Technically, the FRG is there specifically for spouses to come to with problems. That's the point. It's a line of defense for the unit, in a sense, and especially important, IMO, for units overseas. Now while I would rather some people had a lot more common sense about what problems they chose to come forward with, I think it's a good thing that is there.

A lot of wives will never use it. Ironically, I never did until I became the leader (and I can't say I really *use* it now). But a lot of folks, mainly senior NCO spouses who think that most FRGs have gone to hell in a handbasket, would tell you that the problem is actually the opposite of what you suggest. The problem is in FRGs like yours, the units and the FRGs are just more lackadaisical than they should be and therefore do not set up the right kind of scaffolding for the spouses. That without that sense of community and help, wives will be more likely hit those rough patches and decide they can't cope in the marriage.

Marine Wife said...

It's lovely double-edge sword, isn't it? We have the same issue with our KV networks. How much is enough? How much is too much? Yes, you want to be there to support those families who need it, but you don't want to be taken advantage of either.