Friday, November 21, 2008

A Developmental Nazi update.

After nearly a year of hearing, "Well, we think Munchkin might be autistic," but having no one available to actually evaluate him for said condition, I had enough.

While we were in the States, I scheduled an evaluation with a pediatric neurologist and a speech/language pathologist at one of the top 10 Children's Hospitals in the country. After several months of runaround, TriCare, of course, wouldn't okay it. So we paid out of pocket. More than I care to say. But it was completely and utterly worth it.

(Although, I may one day have to write a serious rant about how fucked up the Army system is when it comes to kids with developmental delays. We could afford to fly back to the states and then pay thousands for a real evaluation -- not everyone has that luxury).

And not because the assessors validated what I've been saying all along -- hell, I spend more time with him than anyone, I was pretty sure I was right. But because now I have something solid, based on established batteries, that I can take to the Developmental Nazis here. With actual suggestions on what Munchkin should be doing to shore up his abilities.

It's about fucking time.

There but for the grace of God go I.

Deployments and gossip go hand in hand. It's just one of those cosmic rules. But sometimes, there is a tidbit that is so particularly juicy, it goes beyond the normal she-said-she-saw bullshit. It is a piece of news that just grows into a phenomenon all its own.

Right now, that juicy tidbit is that one of our spouses is leaving her husband. Granted, you never know what's going on in any relationship. But the news has thrown quite a few people. They had been married over a decade and seemed very happy. She was involved in community activities and the FRG. She'd survived two previous deployments and had been a rock for several other new spouses during this one. No one saw it coming.

But instead of finding some sympathy, many in the community are ready to throw this poor woman under the bus. They wonder if a third party might be involved and speculate on who that might be. They offer unsubstantiated conjecture about what might have been happening behind closed doors. And, of course, they shake their heads, look down their noses and say that obviously this woman just couldn't hack it. They act as if this private decision between two adults is personally offensive.

How do I feel about all this? I'm sad for both the spouse and soldier in question. It can't be easy to end a marriage, particularly long distance. But I have no interest in burning her at the stake. Mostly because I can all too easily see how it can happen. Three deployments. An overseas assignment. The Army life. It doesn't matter if there was someone else at the end of the day. I think that these two more than tried to make it work. It just didn't. And really, as much as two people may love each other, that is always one possible ending.

Deep down, I'm really just a 14 year old girl.

Meet my new boy crush. I am way, way too old to even be interested in the Twilight books. But I tore through them anyway. And I'm definitely too old to have my heart a-thumping over a Harry-Potter-actor-turned-vampire-heartthrob. But here we are.

Hopefully the movie doesn't totally suck.