All those heart medications must create one hell of a high.

Some great Cheney quotes this week. Just shows how grounded in reality our VP really is.

On Great Britain's announcement that they would be pulling their troops out of Iraq, "I look at it and see it is actually an affirmation that there are parts of Iraq where things are going pretty well."

On the Democratic Resolution opposing Troop build-up, "I think in fact if we were to do what Speaker Pelosi and Congressman Murtha are suggesting, all we'll do is validate the al Qaeda strategy, the al Qaeda strategy is to break the will of the American people." When called on this comment, he reiterated, "I'm not backing down. I'm not sure what part of it is that Nancy disagreed with. She accused me of questioning her patriotism. I didn't question her patriotism. I questioned her judgment.''

Wow, what a relief!

I'm sure next time he goes on television he'll once again restate that there are WMDs in Iraq -- and we know where they are -- we just have yet to find them. His lack of a grasp on reality is one of the things I like best about Dick.

Well, that and the fact that he shoots lawyers on leisure trips.

Some people have way too much time on their hands.

Since I can't get away from Britney coverage, I figure I should at least enjoy it. And I do dig that Amy Winehouse's voice.

Harry does Hogsmeade.

A few weeks ago, I posted about the nude promotional photos of Daniel Radcliffe (a.k.a Harry Potter) for the play, Equus.

But apparently, the photos that were splashed all over the airwaves were cropped.

To see the full photo, full-frontal shot you can click here. I can't post it because, folks, this is a family show. But I can keep looking at it.

Warning: Harry's sporting a Jack in the Box.

Yeah, you think?

And from today's "Duh" file: Long Iraq Tours Can Make Home a Trying Front.

Now this is hilarious.

Money magazine has published a multimedia story giving advice by "famous" -- and I'm using that term loosely here -- baby boomers' about retirement and finances. It is, by far, one of the funniest things I've read in a long time.

Is it just me, does listening to the financial advice of William Shatner or Black Panther co-founder Bobby Seale just seem plain wrong?

What my husband listens to these days.

"To the left, to the left...everything you own in a box to the left."

"Holy crap, did I just hear you singing a Beyonce song?"

"No! Er, ummm, maybe."

"Should I be staging an intervention?"

"Not unless you see me dipping my thang while I do it."

So far, so good.

Military Wife Forward #2855

Whining was not the intent? You could have fooled me. This is actually one of the better military wife forwards as it doesn't make me want to immediately spew. But still, if you realize that your husband's gig protects freedom of speech, then you should embrace the fact that other opinions are out there. If you can't, then what the hell is your husband fighting for? And, sadly, I've found that a large chunk of military spouses are very much of the if-you-don't-agree-with-my-point-of-view-then-you-are-not-worth-my-time kind of people. Especially when you walk into a coffee, fresh from the polls, wearing your "I voted for John Kerry" sticker.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You probably didn't realize who was sitting next to you.

You rattled on about how silly this anti-terrorist war is, and that it's just a political ploy.

You complained about America being the world's police.

You said you'd never let your son run off to fight, and you'd throw a fit if they just sent your husband off.

At that point, I almost turned around and told you who I am.

I am a military spouse.

Life in the military has never been easy.

It means low pay with no overtime, watching your husband go to work with a fever because the doctor didn't deem him sick enough for the day off. It means years of rules and protocol that wear on you like a dripping faucet late at night. Don't even get me going on the weekly inspection of our yards.

We live with Terms like "Exercise" which means 12-18 hr hour shifts. And "TDY," which means your spouse is gone for up to 180 days. And "Remotes," which means your spouse is gone for longer than 180 days. And finally, "PCS," which means your whole family is going on this ride.

Don't get me wrong, whining is not my intent here.

While the road we've been down in the military hasn't always been paved; it's been a good life. My kids know you don't wait to make friends because you never know how long they'll be here. We know how precious good friends are even when miles separate us. We go to live in other countries where the locals despise us. It wasn't always in vogue to be patriotic. Sept. 11 helped turn that tide, but flags are fading around here again.

There have been too many times I have needed him here. Forget the running of the home fort-there are kisses and hugs that should be taking place. I lie in bed and try to recall what his breathing sounds like next to me- or I hear the door open and try to envision him walking in from work. What I would give to hear his clear voice without telephone static and worrying about how much the phone call will cost us. Then the deep fear - what if this separation becomes permanent? Distance is a horrible thief of what is precious, because it only reminds us of how precious it is.

You kept on talking for a while. I then realized I was picking up your tab.

You could sit there freely and give your opinion because of the military families like ours. We are paying the price for your freedom.

I've heard it said that soldiers of the past, present and future pay for the flag. Nah, we're the threads it's woven with.

So much for playing nice.

CPT Dick has a theory that having so many quasi-qualified Democratic presidential candidates that, of course, stand for so many different things, is just another sign of the party imploding. I usually disagree with him.

But after only a few paltry weeks of campaigning, Hillary and Obama are mixing it up. Now, certainly this isn't to the level of some of the Kerry swipes in the last election, it's still disappointing. How can we believe anything will be different when every single politician -- heroine Hillary and golden boy Obama, too -- succumb to the same bullshit each and every time? I don't know if I can take another year + of misdirection, misspeaks and quotes out of context.

Suddenly I understand why the public prefers their headlines about Britney Spears.

Give me some hot stuff.

Munchkin has a fever. A fairly high one. And since he's also all congested, he's pretty much refusing any and all things I'm trying to reduce that fever -- baths, juice, Tylenol, even the mythical and much desired popsicle.

But despite the fact that he's burning up, he is stuck to me like glue. I cannot even go to the bathroom or go to restart "Shrek" for the 311th time without him screaming and grasping on to me as if I were heading to the South Pole for a year. He just won't let go. In fact, I'm currently typing this entry with one hand, which is a testament to both the strength of my son's grip and how skilled I am at doing anything single handedly since I gave birth.

In any case, I don't have time to read the news and get all annoyed at the world today. I need to get this fever under control. So perhaps you can send me some headlines or stories that have gotten you a little miffed today instead.

A more depressing conversation with M.

"I've gained so much weight since I got this job. I'm working 24/7 and there is always free food around. And it's not the good kind."

"I know what you mean. I can't seem to lose the last of this baby weight. And I can't quite decide whether I am even entitled to call it baby weight anymore since, you know, it's been a few years since I actually gave birth."

"It's kind of depressing, isn't it? I mean, I guess at our age, you could say we've peaked. We've now looked as good as we're ever going to look and that was probably a good four, five years ago."

Interview with Tariq Ramadan.

Salon has a very interesting interview with Tariq Ramadan, the voice of Muslim reform.

And two more things that annoy me regarding my mother-in-law.

1. She is compelled to answer any question that is asked around her, even when it was not directed at her and she has no frickin' clue what she is talking about. She complains that I'm not giving Munchkin enough opportunities to talk but when I ask him, "Where is your foot?" she replies for him. And you know the stakes are high there if Munchkin doesn't bother to answer.
   
   And then later, when we run into my friend at the commissary who asks where a certain salon is, my mother-in-law says, "I think it's near _____," even though she's only visited us here twice and has never ever been close to said salon.
   
   I could go on and on here. Just suffice it to say that she feels she must answer any and every damn question. There's really no need for anyone to speak.

   
   

2. She carries her purse with her around the house, always keeping it within's arm reach. She's in her pajamas and carrying around this big ol' grandma purse up and down the stairs and even into the bathroom with her. Does she think I'm going to steal her reading glasses? Or perhaps her incredibly large cache of half-used tissues?

   I'm sort of tempted to try now just to see if she'll let that huge bag out of her sight long enough for me to get in there. And besides, couldn't we all use a Costco sized bottle of nasal spray?
   

Conversation with my girlfriend, J.

"Did you see what Britney did to her head?"

"Yeah. How could I not? It's a top headline."

"It's just so wrong."

"I know what you mean. With everything else going on in the world, why is that top news? What does that say as America as a whole?"

"No, not that. I wasn't talking about that."

"Huh?"

"I mean, I couldn't manage a solo salon appointment until my kid was in pre-school and I only had one! How the hell is she driving around Tarzana by herself when she has two kids that are still in diapers? It's just totally wrong and unfair."

This is sad.

No one came to check on Vincenzo Ricardo for almost a year. And then a water pipe burst and the police found him, partially mummified and sitting in front of a blaring television.

Where was this guy's family? Didn't the neighbors notice the lights on? This kind of thing just makes me sad.

Things that annoy the shit out of me regarding my mother-in-law.

1. After asking umpteen times what she would like me to have in the house for her visit, and her replying "Nothing" every single time, I am now being reproached for not being omniscient and knowing to buy her a special brand of bottled water, decaffeinated coffee and pineapple juice.
2. 24 hours after she changes my son's poopy diaper, she tells me, "Oh, I couldn't figure out the diaper pail so I put the diaper in the trash can." And when I go upstairs, it's not the trash can but his clothes hamper (half-filled with dirty laundry) and she didn't bother to close up the diaper so there is now petrified poop smeared on everything.
3. She insists on watching "Flags of our Fathers," but then gives a running commentary throughout the film on how I should be encouraging CPT Dick to get out of the Army, how if he's deployed again she's going to write a letter to her congressman to complain, and that if war is that loud, she fears for CPT Dick's hearing.
4. That when Munchkin won't warm up to her, she casts a leery eye on me instead of considering that perhaps getting in his face every 5 seconds, and taking away the cars or whatever he is playing with to start a new, Grandma-approved game, may not be the best method for increasing his level of affection.
5. That she cannot allow stand even one second of silence. And so, my days are filled with inane comments that don't make a whole lot of sense and her reading every sign we happen to pass while driving. She also keeps insisting that she has already visited all of the places we've gone when she came to visit last time, totally ignoring the fact that we lived in a different city then. But if I remind her of this, I'm the bitch.
6. That each evening, even though we have 2.5 bathrooms, she insists on discussing who will take a shower when. And she will say something like, "Okay, so I'll take my shower at 8:30am, Dad will take his at 8am and you can take yours whenever" with a totally dismissive arm wave. Ummm, lady, it's my house -- damn right I'll take my shower whenever. But what's worse, she then totally ignores her mandated schedule and takes a shower whenever the hell she feels like it the next morning anyway.
7. She asks the same questions over and over again. My answers never change but she asks again and again. What's the difference between a base and a post? What's the difference between a squad and a platoon? Does CPT Dick get home by 7pm each night? I'm considering making flash cards with the answers on the back for her so the insanity might stop.

I'm boycotting CNN.

I really fail to see how this is news exactly. Now if she had just had her extensions removed and walked out of that salon with only her actual hair, then maybe...

Lots of stuff going on in the world but all anyone is talking about is this silly girl's bald head.