The True Tale of my Valentine's Flowers.

I guess if I'm advertising this as truthful I should admit upfront that no one sent me any Valentine's flowers. It didn't occur to CPT Dick. And normally, I wouldn't think that it would occur to him and wouldn't expect to receive any.

But then yesterday, the doorbell rang and there was a woman standing there struggling with a HUGE bouquet of roses. She handed them to me with an emphatic "Happy Valentine's Day! Somebody really loves you!" I was floored. I thought my husband had either lost his mind or I had a secret admirer with lots of money and good taste.

But as I take the flowers and put them down, the delivery woman starts flipping through her clipboard looking for the spot where I am to sign for the flowers. She is about to hand me the clipboard when she looks down at the clipboard, then at the number on my house, then back at the clipboard, then back at the house.

I'm guessing you are smart enough to figure out what happened next.

As she turned beet red, the delivery woman said, "I'm so sorry, I just brought these to the wrong house." Guess someone doesn't love me very much after all.

Of course, the neighbor, proud recipient of these gorgeous flowers, is not at home. So then I'm asked if I'll keep them for her since it's raining. I take pity on the poor woman, despite her just breaking my itty-bitty Grinch heart on Valentine's Day. I mean, it can't be easy to be out delivering flowers on V-day. I'm guessing it's pretty much akin to the second circle of hell.

So I close the door, put the flowers where the Munchkin can't destroy them, and make my way back to the excitement that is cleaning the kitchen. You know, real Valentine's Day entertainment.

And then the doorbell rings again.

I open the door and there is the same delivery woman holding a bouquet even bigger than the last. And I think someone does love me after all -- she must have just mixed up what bouquet went where! They are even bigger than that other bouquet! I rule! And I raise my arms up to receive this beautiful arrangement of roses, feeling my husband's love for me right down to the tips of my little toes, when she says, "Sorry to bother you again but your other neighbor isn't home either."