What every young wife should know about military balls.

1. It is not prom.
2. Yes, your dress can be too short or too low cut.
3. No matter how many times you've taken the AFTB class, when it's time to go through the receiving line, neither you nor your husband will remember which side you are supposed to stand on while walking through.
4. There is never enough free hooch.
5. How good a time you have is directly proportional to how good your hair looks and how comfy your dress is.
6. You will spend over $100 for little more than a dried hockey puck of meat, mystery potato and a vegetable that has been overcooked in butter.
7. If no one mentions the "Guess the stripper" game to you during the course of the evening, chances are, someone decided that you might be her.
8. The Commander's wife may have had a few too many and had a really good time but you are never to mention that you saw it happen.
9. Always, always find a seat next to the couple that brings their own bottles.
10. No matter how good someone told you the guest speaker is, he will always talk for much longer than anyone really wants him to.
11. And -- this is important -- see #1.