The last time CPT Dick deployed, we were freshly married. There was no big deployment ceremony, no to-dos or Navy style goodbyes. He was going to join a unit that had already deployed. So I just drove him to the airport.
We had decided the night before that I would just drop him off curbside. It was less than a year after 9/11 and the airports were still crazy. And we thought it would be easier. We'd say our goodbyes at home (complete with some hot monkey sex) and then I'd just let him out at the terminal. No prolonged affair. No mess. I wouldn't even turn off the ignition or undo my seatbelt.
I remember that as he walked away from the car, my heart seized up a bit. I stayed parked illegally until I could no longer see his huge green rucksack walking away from me and then started for home. I only made it half a mile before the enormity of what had just happened descended upon me and I had to pull over for a good cry.
This time, there was all kinds of hurray and hoopla. And you know, it was so drawn out, starting so many weeks before CPT Dick actually had to go, it didn't feel real. I just felt annoying. And so when the time came for him to actually go, we once again stuck to a plan. After all, this time, we had a three-year-old to consider. I figured after all the pomp and circumstance, there's no way I'd be hit as hard. So, the plan was that we'd say our goodbyes at home and then I would drop him off at formation when it was time.
But this time, the tears started as soon as we drove on post. I wasn't sobbing or hysterical but my body was definitely telling me that it knew damn well what lay ahead.
Godspeed, CPT Dick.
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10 comments:
There are crummy goodbyes and not-so-crummy goodbyes. But there sure ain't any good ones.
Godspeed indeed, CPT Dick. And NEE, you and Munchkin be kind to yourselves. I'm thinking of you.
We've managed to avoid the nay vee hooplah-style goodbyes, too. I find it slightly easier to experience the pain in private.
My thoughts are with you. We've never done 12 months (although it looks more and more likely all the time). May Capt. Dick be safe and as happy as possible. And even thought I can't babysit, you have a friend in California.
Maybe a road trip to meet your fellow milspouse bloggers would be fun? :-) When you're ready to make plans, that is...
I hate the hoopla too before a deployment. Hang in there.
I just want you to know, Ms. Non-Essential, that you, Munchkin, and Capt. Dick are in my thoughts and prayers. I know separation is tough but fell comforted that there are two people back in the US that are praying for you guys.
Your husband and his men are great Americans and we truly appreciate what they all are doing for their country.
Godspeed to you all
Thinking of you. I hope the deployment flies by...
The body does have a way of knowing. My thoughts are with you and your family.
My heart just aches for you.
Godspeed Cpt. Dick, indeed.
yeah, those weeks leading up to it really are difficult. After 4 of these annoying things in the last 6 years I now long for the pager he had in Special Ops.....no pomp and circumstance, just a pager and a constant 18 hour recall....it went off and then he was gone.....but these weeks leading up to it pull at my heart until I am so ready to kick him out just so I can say it's begun, I can start to count the days....and yet the early ones feel like some sort of tunnel that has no end.....but those days turn to weeks and the weeks eventually to months and before I have realized it I am in a routine and he is halfway done and we are counting down the days to his homecoming.....my heart surely goes out to you and God Speed to your husband and may God watch over you and your family during the hard times you will face.
~ASW
Good luck to both of you. Cpt Dick - what I told all my guys - butt down, helmet on. As for you, dear milspouse friend... planning doesn't count for squat. crying is cathartic. Now, I know you know all this, but bear with me. We are here if you need us. I know you are all the way over there, but I have relatives in the Frankfurt area, so IF you have an emergency and have no one to help, let me know. I'll guilt him! But if you need someone to "talk" to, email. We'll talk. I've told my bosses that there may be times I have to email with someone.
LAW
Wow. I would be hysterical too. I didn't get to see my soldier leave but he called me from the bus to his plane. He was putting on a brave face and I saved my tears til after we hung up.
Well, at least you can begin the countdown now.
And 'hot monkey sex'? I'm impressed! :)
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