Just call me mother of the millenium!

"Will Munchkin eat this?"

"Eh, we'll give him a little but maybe just grab a hot dog from the fridge and nuke it up for him, just in case. They are in the crisper drawer."

"Uh, NEE, these hot dogs are expired."

"What? What are you talking about?"

"They are expired. And the expiration date is January 08."

"Hot dogs can expire?"

"Uh, yes."

"Seriously?"

One month down.

A little over one month actually since CPT Dick deployed. But 14 to go.

And I have to say, the first month flew by fairly quickly. You must understand, things leading up to the deployment were absolutely crazy. We had so many events and ceremonies and briefings and other random mandatory fun events. I needed a rest. And I tend to spend the first few weeks after CPT Dick leaves for anything cleaning the house and getting it back into order. So that kills a good two weeks right there. And the boy has had all kinds of activities and play dates, so that helped, too. And many of my editors have taken pity on me and showered me with work. Also a good way to make the nights pass faster.

But now, we're coming to a lull. It's as if I'm finally realizing that he's gone and he won't be back for a while. And you know, it's those moments that it hits me, that I'm not going 110 mph, that are the hardest to bear.

You want your soldier to have a cel phone? Really?!

One of the biggest demands that families had before our unit deployed was that their husbands be able to take their mobile telephones with them. I thought this a terrible idea for a variety of reasons. One, you can be tracked with a mobile phone on a network. Two, if you ring your soldier at the wrong time and his phone is on, there goes any chance of hiding. And three, well, chances are, even with that phone, you aren't going to talk to him any more often than you would anyway. At least, if the soldier is doing his job and not putting his comrades in danger.

But I must admit, when I made arguments against bringing mobile phones to Iraq, I never thought of the accidental pocket-dial. And as a soldier named Stephen Phillips just found out, those kind of accidental pocket dials can happen at the wrong time.

Nothing like that first drunk phone call in the middle of the night.

As FRG leader, you are prepared for calls. You are. You know that people are going to call to complain about X, bitch about Y and cry some about Z.

But no matter how much experience or training you have, that first sobbing phone calls that comes in the wee hours still catches you off-guard.

I've now had mine. She had gone out to the bars. He called while she was out. She came home drunk to a sad message from her husband saying that he couldn't get her on her mobile either and that he wasn't sure when he'd get to a phone again.

So she called me crying. And ready to tell me all about it.

While I can certainly relate -- I've missed more than a few calls from CPT Dick during all of our deployments for one stupid reason or another -- I'm not sure why she felt it merited a call to her FRG leader at 2:00am. But she did. It's the FRG equivalent of drunk dialing. And like the other forms of that particular disease, it is almost impossible to get those people off the phone.

Hopefully, I'll be better prepared next weekend.

Holy Mother of God.

So, I'll be honest. For the most part, I've never been one to pay attention to food prices. While many of my friends, shop circular sales, clip coupons and buy milk at one store and produce at another, I've sort of always just bought what I needed when I needed it. And who notices individual changes in price when you are always buying a cart load? I've read all of the articles about food price inflation but have never really connected personally.

But today, I went to get Munchkin some fruit. He had a craving for peaches. Sure, it's early in the season. But I saw that there were some good ones at the commissary. They were small, sure, and could use some ripening up, but a few days in the sun and they'd be a tasty treat. I put 6 of them in a bag and made my way to the cashier.

Imagine my surprise when she rang me up and said, "That'll be $8.13, please."

Over 8 bucks. For 6 peaches. Hot damn.

Ariana Huffington is kind of hot, now that I think about it.

In response to People's Beautiful People list, Mollygood has come out with its own list of Beautiful Women.

It's kind of rad. Because, the Mollygood editors are right. Each year, that Beautiful People list just puts more and more young, cut up girls on those pages. And it got me thinking more about what I think is beautiful.

NEE's Top 10 Beautiful Women List, in no particular order:

1. Padma Lakshmi
   
2. Sophia Loren
3. Drew Barrymore
4. Gina Torres
5. Darryl Hannah
6. Isabella Rossellini
7. Michelle Trachtenberg
8. Debra Winger
9. Elizabeth Gilbert
10. Ellen Page
    

What are your picks?

A confession.

Okay, so when someone talks about what they saw on Oprah, I may roll my eyes. And then I may say that although I appreciate her getting to read books again and attempting some philanthropic works, I just don't get it.

But the truth is, I don't not watch Oprah because I'm so holier-than-thou. No. I don't watch Oprah because that stupid woman makes me cry way too often. Even when she has the Sex and the City girls on. So there. I said it.

Interesting.

Apparently, I'm not the only one who is concerned about the rising Evangelical element in the Army.

http://www.cnn.com/2008/US/04/26/atheist.soldier.ap/index.html

I'm curious as to what you all think of this lawsuit. Has it any merit? And does anyone else giggle a bit when they realize that it appears there is at least one atheist -- even in a foxhole?

Army Family Covenant, my ass.

Much ado was made of the Army Family Covenant when it was signed earlier this year. It would improve our facilities, our healthcare, our childcare, blah blah blah. And I think when it was signed -- and of course, splashed all over the headlines -- I thought it was a little too good to be true.

And for us, it is.

Not even two weeks after our husbands deployed, our Child and Youth Services decided to discontinue several much-desired and well-utilized childcare programs. Never mind that it promised that it wouldn't cut anything in all of the briefings before the guys left. Never mind that they signed the Covenant and told us that wouldn't allow them to cut programs. They did it anyway. And are actually using the Covenant to justify these cuts, saying that it's the only way they can provide the free childcare hours they promised. Worse, because of that, it appears that there may be no recourse.

It's times like these I'm so fucking proud to be an American.

Question for the ages.

Of all the things that dog paws could smell like, why is it that they so often have an odor that resembles Fritos?