Feeling resentful.

As I type this, my son is laying prostrate on the floor, kicking his little legs and screaming for his father.

Now lest you think I'm a completely uncaring mother, I've already tried plying him with hugs, kisses, the new Little Einsteins DVD, juice, a baseball that talks, going outside to ride his tricycle, his Star Wars Galactic Heroes action figures, Matchbox cars, SesameStreet.com and porn.

(I'm just kidding about the porn. But honestly, after a good 45 minutes of this, I'd consider offering it if I thought it would actually do any good).

But all the little guy wants is his Daddy. And nothing I do, NOTHING is going to change that right now.

CPT Dick is actually home this weekend to visit. But he's off today at a football game, a last hurrah with some of the other commanders before they all take off for parts unknown. And I wouldn't mind so much if we didn't go as a couple to that last hurrah party last night and spend God knows how many evenings with last hurrah dinners and drinks and BBQs and formal events before CPT Dick took off for his new post.

For all intents and purposes, we should have been hurrahed out about 2 months ago.

My son is feeling his father's absence acutely. He freaked when we left him with the babysitter last night. And when CPT Dick left earlier today, Munchkin stood at the door, wailing, "Daddy! No bye! Daddy, no bye!" And being fairly wasted after a week of doing inventories, CPT Dick hasn't exactly been 100% with the boy when he isn't out and about. He's exhausted and is expecting a two-year-old to understand that and give him a little space. Good luck with that, honey.

I mentioned earlier that the game was a bad idea but my husband thinks I'm exaggerating the issue because I didn't want him to go. And he's partly right.

One of the problems of being a good military spouse, of being able to juggle 10 balls while people throw fire darts at you to catch in your teeth, is that your spouse can sometimes forget that you are only doing all that stuff because you have to. Not necessarily because you want to. I'm happy to pick up the slack where I can. But it seriously chaps my ass when he takes it for granted.

Sure, I can play Mommy and Daddy all week long while CPT Dick gets acclimated in his new role. But it irks me to no end that I have to do it this weekend when, with all that it in front of us, my husband chose to go to tailgate and basically pretend that he's still in college, instead of staying home and spending some quality time with the Munchkin.

It seems the more often he deploys and things don't fall apart, the less he thinks he has to do. He knows one way or another, I'll get it done.

And sometimes, I can't figure out if that's a good thing or a bad thing.