CPT Dick hasn't been home a full 24 hours and we've already had a fight. A big one, at that.
Since his deployment was postponed, we have to make some decisions about where to spend Christmas. The plan was that we'd spend his block leave with his family before he left and then I'd spend Christmas with my family. But now that plan is all messed up.
He will get about 10 days of leave during the holidays. And so I figured it would make sense for us to spend half of it with his family and half with mine. We'd spend Christmas proper with his family in the Northeast and then drive down the coast, stopping at his grandmother's house for a long visit, to then spend the rest of the time with my family. When you have a kid, everyone wants a piece of you at the holidays. Last year, we managed to bypass it by just heading to the islands for a week alone as a family but we won't get away with it this year. As such, I figure halfsies is the best approach. That way, no one is offended, no one is hurt.
But he will not agree to this. Not, mind you, because he wants to spend all that time with his family. No, he gets antsy after a day or two. His mother drives him almost as insane as I. No, no. He wants to go home and spend quality time with his boys, leaving me and Munchkin to endure family time with his crazy mother.
To a certain extent, I don't begrudge him that desire. He will, after all, be heading to the sandbox for 15-18 months. I can see why he wants to get all footloose and fancy-free with his best friends. But my family, including many elderly relatives, wants to see us, too. They want to see him as most have not since our wedding more than half a decade ago. And they were already expecting Munchkin and I for the holidays. So I don't feel that I can rightly just show up for a day and then fly back to Europe.
But he won't even listen to that. He's feeding me a line of bullshit about how he has a duty to his family (which I see right through) and how he won't even consider anything but at least a week with his folks. And he's pulling that He-Man manly man crap that his word is final.
*sigh*
Oh, the joys of reintegration.
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3 comments:
well. . . . I guess you can't control other people [legitimately, anyway] all of the time, but you CAN control you. Which is always a freeing thought - I think.
What would happen if you and 'kin left for the drive down the coast after 4 or 5 days (as you were envisioning) and he flew down a day or two later after his requisite "week" with Mom?
"That's fine, then, Capt. D. We'll just see you down there once you've had enough time with your family."
"Oh no! I COMPLETELY understand! I wouldn't want you to miss time with Mom, either. Me 'n 'kin will be fine. I could use some alone time with my family as well. We'll see you soon enough."
"No - no - no. . . Not to worry. I can do the drive on my own."
"Well, now. . . actually I WILL be going. The question is whether 'kin and I fly - or you do. Which would you prefer?"
Perhaps he'll prefer to leave with you, when all is said and done. But even if not. . . .
That's gotta be tough. And the "He-Man manly man crap," doesn't that just make you roll your eyes so hard they hurt?? I am sure he married you because he could get away with that kind of stuff.
That is sooo difficult. Blech. It's never easy. Both our parents live in the same town. It should be easy, but it isn't. It's just easier for them to keep track of how much time we've spent with whom. It's also easier for the in-laws to call my parents' house and request that we visit with their friends from across the street.
We don't have children. Yet. Fun times.
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