Tuesday, January 23, 2007


Munchkin has started going "mmmm" whenever he eats. It's very funny. He'll scoop up a mouthful of rice, look at you intently and go, "Mmmmmm!" Then he'll do it again with each and every bite, waiting for praise. The boy knows already that it's always important to praise the cook. Otherwise, Mommy will nuke up chicken nuggets again.

Last night, however, when he got a big bite of green bean, he started to go, "Mmmmm," but had to stop half way to spit the offending bean out of his mouth with hurricane-wind-like force. But not to end the game, when his mouth was empty of the evil, green untasty thing, he finished his hearty "Mmmmm" sound.

But I think he's now gone too far. This morning, he pooped. And it was one of those demon-alien poops, the kind of poop that makes you wonder how such a little boy could pass such a big turd. The kind of poop where the scientific part of your brain wants to sort of examine the contents of the diaper to figure out what, in God's name, the kid ate to produce that disgusting waste (luckily, the offensive odor won't allow you to get that close). The kind of poop that you are afraid has a small, poop monster living inside that will jump out at any moment to scream at you like a small Alien, or perhaps offer sage advice like Kuato from "Total Recall." The kind of poop that makes you want to run screaming from the room.

And, of course, the kind of poop that, no matter how hard you try, your child is going to manage to get on his hands while you are going through two packages of diaper wipes to remove it all from his posterior.

As I tried to get it all off of Munchkin as quickly as possible, he got some on his little hand. And as he held that awful, stinky hand up to investigate the source of the goop, he looked up and me, fervishly working to clean him up before he put that hand in his mouth, and said, "Mmmmm?"

No, baby, no. Not "mmmm" at all.

Thank God it came out in the form of a question. Otherwise I might be worried.

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