The definition of Irony.

"So, wait a minute. Why is PV2 Scruffy in trouble again?"

"Because he didn't wear safety goggles when he was mowing the lawn on post last week."

"Huh?"

"It was his second time not doing so and you got to wear the goggles."

"Is it one of those big, scary HAL-type lawnmowers?"

"No, just a regular Lawnboy."

"But he has to wear goggles."

"Yes."

"So, let me get this straight. You teach this boy to shoot guns, run until his shin bones crack, beat an opponent in hand-to-hand combat and blow shit up, but he needs to wear big plastic glasses when he mows the lawn?"

"Yes. That's about the size of it."

"And that don't seem a bit silly to you?"

"Safety first, baby. Safety first."