- Print out signs in multiple languages to remind the movers to not touch any pre-packed boxes, to double-wrap the crystal and to not let the cats out of the bathroom, lest they end up in a box, too.
- Ignore anyone who tells you to go through all your stuff and cull the unnecessary before you move. Every time I do, I end up with a perfect spot for that lamp I just gave away or find that the bathroom is the exact shade of green of those towels I threw in the trash.
- Make sure to put aside adequate sippy cups, toy cars and a ball for Munchkin shenanigans.
- Pack up any porn and other items you'd prefer unseen in a box and tape it up tight. This is especially important for the still-packaged, big, purple dildo you bought on clearance all those years ago and still haven't managed to give away. (An occasion will come up where it is the perfect gift, I just know it! Maybe Grandparent's Day?)
- Remind your husband that as awkward as they may look, the three guys boxing up the big screen are better equipped than he is doing it all by his lonesome.
- Take valium to get over the horror of seeing so many strangers touching your stuff.
It's dawning on me that we are really out of here at the end of the month. Well, supposedly. It's time to start getting ready for the packers.
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