What happened to the sense of personal accountability and responsibility? Seriously?
My start as FRG leader has not been a great one. Outside of the leader hand-off drama and the accompanying smackdown, my short tenure has been marked by ladies who believe my job is to pick up their slack when they make mistakes or decide not to bother to take care of their own business. A few examples:
(1) We have a wife who is in the states. Her husband was in another unit OCONUS and thought he'd be headed stateside. So he sent her back early on the Army's dime. And he did so against the advice of his command.
So what's now happened? She wants to come back and be with her husband. But she can't afford to move back here or live here on her own dime. So she wants to reneg on the agreement that her family made with the Army and make the Army pay for her to come back and provide her housing, all the while complaining about how the Army has let her down and doesn't care about families. And she's spouting this line to any and everyone who will listen.
But the best part? She's already managed to do this once. He was stationed overseas before and she choose to return early and then found a way to get back courtesy of Uncle Sam. It just pisses me off. We have so many wives who are doing the right thing, who are going through the long process of command sponsorship now made even longer by the Army's transformation. And now they probably have to wait even a few days more since the powers-that-be have to listen to this chick whine. Again.
(2) Our unit has a ton of pregnant ladies right now. And I know they've been briefed on family care plans. I know this because I could probably do the family care planning spiel in my sleep and I'm not pregnant. But still, we have a bunch of ladies who are about to pop who are only now coming forward and saying, "I want my husband to come home. I don't have anyone here to watch my kids when I go into labor."
Now, my civilian friends who are pregnant have two or three back-up plans and they only have to worry about their husbands maybe losing mobile phone reception for 10 minutes a day on the freeway. My one friend, L., has a list of no less than 6 numbers to call both in her wallet and taped on her refrigerator at home in the case that she goes into labor and is unable to make the calls herself. She jokes that she would tattoo all of those numbers on to her body, you know, if they weren't so wacky about pregnant chicks getting inked.
She's that serious about making sure that there is someone that she trusts there to watch her older daughters when it comes time to push. I wouldn't expect anything less.
This is your pregnancy. These are your children. Why would you not make sure that you had a family care plan in place so you could concentrate on popping that baby out in peace? And you are a military spouse, why would you ever assume that your husband would definitely be home? These are the most important points.
But then, if you are going to ask me for help, why on earth would you curse me out when I try to explain that I cannot guarantee that your husband can come home -- that is a chain of command issue -- and that you need a back-up plan at the very least for labor because I'm assuming that if your husband can come home, you won't be having all four of your other kids in the delivery room, too?
(3) And finally, we had to set up an AER loan for a family of 5 that had no money in their bank account. Not a dime. But when I stopped by today to make sure that the AER was taken care of? Mrs. Spendy couldn't help but tell me all about the two Persian kittens that they *had* to get for their girls for $700 a pop. $1400 for kittens! I just about had kittens when she told me.
I don't know. I know that my heartstrings should be pulled when I read a story like the one that GBear posted on SpouseBuzz, but after doing the FRG thing for so many years, all I see are the inconsistencies in the story and the ways that this family probably did not follow advice or regulations. I see it every day. Now, that's not to say that the military doesn't make mistakes. It does. And when the Man messes up, believe you me, I will be the first one up there making a stink.
But people need to remember that God (and the Army) helps those that help themselves.
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3 comments:
No argument here. But then I have zero tolerance for stupidity and ,often, I think these situations fall under that.
Hurah! (sorry, Air force) I'm familiar with the whine stories too. For the most part, the air force spouses I've met (and I've met plenty) knew what their spouse was when they picked them up. I don't envy your sitution, but I give you KUDOS for doing the FGR thing.
I read an article earlier (and for the life of me can't find the link now, sorry) about soldiers seeing their babies born via VTC. I think it was a corporate sponsorship and not a DoD one. Might be worth looking into so as to silence some of the squeeky wheels.
AER spent on kittens? Good lord! I'm not sure how the Army does there AER stuff, but I think the AF requires some financial planning counceling or something in order to get emergency relief funds. Is that the case for the Army too?
Sorry -- I wasn't clear. They needed the AER *because* they had dropped so much on the kittens (as well as, I'm sure, on their big screen TV and oodles of toys for the kids).
I think they will have to go for financial counseling but as she said she's gotten AERs before, I doubt whatever they teach is going to stick.
But seriously -- $1400 for kittens! That offends me on so many levels. One, because there are plenty of great kittens that need to be rescued. And they are FREE! Two, because that's $1400. That seems too high of a price tag even for purebreds.
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