Even more appropriate.

A friend, seeing my 5 things post, forwarded me what she thought was a more appropriate survey for my tiny, Grinch-like heart: the top 3 meanest things you've ever done or said.

And worse, you are supposed to say if you'd do it again. What fun!

I figured I'd take it on because quite often you can learn more about a person from their vices than their virtues. And so, though I'm sure there are plenty of mean things that I've said and done in this little life of mine, here are the three that spring immediately to my mind.

1. On several occasions, in anger and haste, I've told my sister she was stupid. I've regretted each and every time I've said this. And yet, since it's my sister and we have all those innate ways of pushing each other's buttons, I imagine I will say it again in the future.

   
   

2. I once told an ex-boyfriend that the reason that I broke up with him was because his penis was too small. To provide the appropriate context, we were one of those couples that came together from a large group of mutual friends. We didn't date long and I thought that it was more a matter of convenience than anything else.
   
   Given that we knew so many of the same people, once I had broken things off, we still saw each other frequently at group outings -- usually 2-3 times a week. And so, every time I saw him, he'd try to pull me aside and ask me why we couldn't work things out. He even begged once. It was awful. But since we knew so many of the same people, unless I wanted to find a whole new group of friends, it was nearly impossible to avoid him.
   
   About three weeks after I had thrown the axe (and after about 15 instances where I tried to nicely justify my decision), we were at a party where a lot of alcohol was consumed. So much so that most of us were going to stay the night rather than brave the roads. Once I had situated myself on my assigned couch, the ex-boyfriend laid seige and started again on the whole "what can I do to make this work" crap. I was exhausted and really didn't want to go through it all again so I said the first thing that popped into my mind. "The real reason is that your penis is just too small and I can't see myself pursuing a relationship that doesn't have a chance of being sexually satisfying." He immediately got up and went away. He never asked me about continuing the relationship again.
   
   Would I do it again? I'd like to say no because I ran into this guy right after I married and he said my comment still stung after nearly 8 years. CPT Dick says that he could well imagine such a slight could haunt a man to the grave -- especially when issued in public. But the truth of the matter is, I think it was the only way I was going to get him to give up his ill-advised post-break-up pursuit.
   
   
3. After Munchkin was born, CPT Dick and I had one of those completely boring and predictable arguments that new parents have. One of those you-don't-appreciate-how-much-I-do, fueled with sleep deprivation and self-righteousness. In the course of that fight, I told my husband that he was useless as a father. Worse, I said it in front of Munchkin. Granted, Munchkin was 3 months old and asleep at the time, but it was still totally uncalled for. I apologized pretty much right there and then but I sitll cringe when I think about it. I work damn hard to make sure that nothing similar escapes from my lips again.